Kimberley Kane : Porn Star
Interview by Robin Benger
Growing up girls of your age might have admired actresses like Meryl Streep Who were your idols?
It was funny when you mentioned, like, ah, that’s funny, like your idols are Meryl Streep or something like that. It’s like, no, I definitely had different idols and it’s just kind of like, I think it’s how people are raised. Some people are wealthy, some people are dirt poor. And it’s kinda like, you know, if you’re dirt poor and you haven’t left your neighbourhood, then the cook kid on the block that maybe has like more than what you got is your idol or the coolest person you’ve ever known or something like that, you know. Opposed to like, just…I don’t know, I guess small town or something. But yeah, like my…who I thought was cool was dancers. They were beautiful. I used to draw like dancers, you know. It’s interesting.
Did your mother create an attitude towards sex that porn was not a big deal?
Well, I got into the business when I was 19. So, I think when you’re 19 nothing is a big deal. You know, everything’s cool because you know everything. But, yeah, like, because…I don’t know, I was always around people that were like sexual and beautiful and empowered and like healthy, that I wasn’t scared. And I was also really educated, you know, at a young age about things, because my mom produced like a soft core film that was actually, like, if it came out today it would still be like one of the most beautiful things. And she was a dancer and she was like a model and stuff like that. And I was always like the ugly duckling. Like, my sister, like, she was Hawaiin Tropic’s, like model too and stuff like that. And I was always kinda like more boyish, more skeevy, I guess. But I paid attention, you know.
How did you get your start in the business?
And I don’t know, so, a friend of mine got into the business. Like she met some people and she wasn’t healthy. See, she’s one of those statistics that she was out in six months, you know, because she didn’t live healthy in her personal life, and so you’re not going to live healthy in the sex industry either, you know. So, she was in and out, and I stuck around. And she, like, invited me onto a set because she had to pick up a cheque. And I was like 19 and I was like, ooh, what is it going to be like? In a motel or something? And she takes me to Malibu. Like, I’m from Oregon, right? And me and her are staying in Rancho Cucamunga which is way the hell out, like nowhere near LA, you know. And so, we drive to LA because she’s gonna go pick up a porno cheque, you know. And we go to Malibu and we pull up to this big, beautiful house, right, and I’m just like, what is this? And we go in and there’s people having sex, like right there, you know.
And so, I walk in and I remember her name, the girl performing her name was Emily Davinci and she’s a Canadian performer. She’s beautiful. She’s petite, she had short, kind of like butch hair. But she was like really feminine and just sexy and she was doing a scene on this beautiful staircase, right. And I’m like, kind of like gawking. You know how, like, when you first go, of course like when you first go onto a porn site you’re kinda just like smiley and you don’t really how to act and stuff. And so I was like that and she started fuckin’ with me a little bit, you know. And she was like, so, if you’re gonna watch me have sex you have to take off your shirt. And I thought it was because she was uncomfortable. Because she doesn’t know me, you know, because I don’t know anything about this. She doesn’t know me and so she would feel more comfortable if I was like more nude or something, you know, like, you know. And so, I was like, okay, so I took off my shirt, and I’m sittin’ there. So now I feel like, okay, so now she’s comfortable so she could do her thing. And she’s probably just like laughing, you know.
I have the impression women are in porn against their will…
Um, well, I think that’s a really…that’s like saying, I don’t know, let’s see, what would be a…kind of because it’s a taboo thing, you know. Like, that’s like saying, everyone with a tattoo is a drug addict. You know. Every guy that buys a Corvette is going through a mid-life crisis, you know, like, I would say that when you’re new there are people in every industry anywhere that is willing to take advantage of you. But it’s like, kinda like there’s levels of the industry, and there’s levels of people that you want to work with, you know what I mean? There’s scum bags on Wall Street and there’s scum bags in porno, you know.
Do you feel exploited?
No, I don’t…I guess if I would feel brutalized and exploited, then I would also be brutalizing and exploiting my friends, and people that I really love and care about because I direct porn too.
So, it’s kinda like I would never do that to a friend, you know what I mean? And the people that I work with love what they do, and they’re sexual, and I think that’s really taboo in America, sexuality. It’s a very, very scarey. And I think it’s like a really old mindset, kinda like, I don’t know, like the church saying condoms or abomination or something. Like, it’s a very old mindset. And sexuality is beautiful and there are people that are educated and happy and healthy in this business, and I’m one of them.
What’s the positive side of what you do?
H’mmm, let me think. Well, I don’t know. Okay, see that dude over there? He’s a great guy and I love working with him and we’re gonna have a really good time. And not only that, it’s like sometimes it feels like work, but for the most part, it’s kinda like, it’s being an artist. It’s like expressing yourself, and it’s kinda like sometimes probably for an artist like painting a photo or painting a picture or whatever. It’s like, sometimes it can be like monotonous, but for the most part you’re doing what you love and you’re doing your art and it’s a beautiful thing. Like, sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t even be paid, I swear to God.
Tell me about BDSM. How do you prepare for a bdsm session?
Well, I definitely stretch, because I didn’t stretch when I did, when I’m dominated, so I’m kinda tight right now. But, I don’t know, like the mindset is kinda like open, you want to like know that you’re gonna have sex. You want to know that you’re gonna feel pleasure and pain, so you want to get in the mindset like that. But…Well, I’m actually, okay, I’m turning 25 next month so I’m kinda going through this whole, like, self-realization. Like what am I into and like what do I really love and who am I kinda thing.
And the more and more I think about it, the more and more I think like, I am into bdsm, you know, and I’m not…like, me and the makeup artist were talking about this. Like, I’m not a fashion, I don’t have a fashion fetish, like the latex and leathers and stuff like that. That’s not where I lie. I think it’s more, like giving pain to someone that enjoys it. Because that’s what’s important to me, is like doing something that someone enjoys because I’m a submissive and I love pain. And I couldn’t give pain to someone unless I knew that they truly enjoyed it, or it would just be a horrible experience I think.
Why do you love pain?
Well, I think pain and pleasure come from the same place, and it’s very, like, close together. And it’s kind of like pain, when done right releases endorphins. I’m reading a book about sadomasochism right now. So this is technical, but pain releases endorphins, you know, and mixed with pleasure and pain it feels like, it feels like a drug, because it’s your body’s own way of, like, dealing with pain, is releasing this, like, I don’t know, this beautiful thing. The first time I ever did like a real bdsm shoot was with a company called kink.com, and it was with a dominatrix. And this was a few years ago. And I was scared to death. I was like, oh, man, ’cause it’s edited well, you know, so it looks really intense. You know.
But, um, it was, it was one of the most amazing experiences I’ve ever had in my life. And that’s when I knew, like, I enjoyed being a submissive. And I still like am, I’m a total sub. But I just did my first female to male domination and they said I was a natural and I feel like it’s because I enjoy, like so much being submissive that I knew that the person I was working with also enjoyed it to the level that I do. So, I gave him, like what I know. Like, this is what I know, and I did all these things and he was in ecstacy and I’m like, cool, it feels good to like give. It’s kinda like how a normal person would want to give an orgasm to their lover. It’s like giving a gift.
what about the millions of men watching you on the internet; does that occur to you?
You don’t think that the internet’s private consumption?
its accessible to millions.
They probably feel really lucky.
From your perspective, does it change the dynamic?
If it does,Good, and I hope he likes it. I’m glad that the Internet gives people that didn’t have the access before access to things that they could enjoy.
Is it healthier in a way?
Well, I actually just watched a documentary about porn and they said that…I don’t know, it’s like kinda like…I think it’s more healthy because, like, you want to be educated on what you want to experience. You, especially with bdsm, the more education the better. And now there’s just sites where you can, you can literally be taught how to do things properly, you know. It’s just kinda like, I don’t know, I think it’s good.
What do you say to feminists who would say that you are being exploited?
What do I say to the feminists?
I don’t know. Actually, there’s a professor at the University of Santa Barbara who is a feminist and she also teaches about porn and educates hundreds and hundreds of kids about porn, you know. Because I think education’s the number one thing. A lot of people are gonna be up in arms about a lot of things, about a lot of things. And it’s kinda like, I think there’s healthy balance of, you need, like the world needs people that are against things just as much as, like for it. Because there are people out there that aren’t strong enough or aren’t educated or like, about what they’re doing. Like how we spoke about, how the average like, career span of a girl is about three to six months.
And it’s because, you know, some people come in here with the wrong, I don’t know, motives, just quick money. And quick money will get you in trouble. So it’s like, there’s people out there that can help those people. I don’t know, the sex industry isn’t for everyone. So, there should be people out there that are very much for it, like me, and there should be a healthy balance that aren’t. But that’s just personal opinoin.
How is the world made healthier by Internet porn?
I believe that everyone has the right to see what they want to see and be educated on it.
They’re there to get off, not get educated.
what would you advise and young girl who wanted to do what you do..porn?
I don’t, I think an 8 year old would have a pretty strange view on sexuality in any form.
Say a 13 year old.
I still think that would be a pretty warped perspective on sexuality in general.
Not involved…people looking up to you.
I have family that are young and they love me very much. And I don’t think that, until they want to, like, question it or anything like that, or I feel I want to tell them exactly like what I do. It’s kind of like, I make movies for adults. And when you’re old enough to see them, then you can watch them.
What If they wanted to do what you do?
I don’t think it’d be very healthy to be like, I want to be a porn star or I want to be a dancer or anything like that.
Forget about their age…what would you advise and young girl who wanted to do what you do..porn
Well, I don’t recruit. I don’t recruit people in the business because like we said before, the usual expectancy of someone in the business is like very short. I personally feel I was like really educated about sexuality and I came into it with a pretty good, like, head on my shoulders. But most people, I would think, it would take some learning.
what about the sexual health of young boys exposed to your bdsm scenes?
What would I say to those boys that are watching me? I would say that five years ago you were looking at VHS and magazines that you got from your dad. Yeah.
ROBIN NOTES: at this point in the interview Kimberly said she had had enough. She didn’t get my question. That if she had been inspired to be a pornstar by her mother, who had been a burlesque dancer and a soft core porn moviemaker; then what would she say to an 8 year old girl who wanted to grow up to be like her. She didn’t get it. Or I didn’t get it. I tried to explain what I was getting at with this line of questioning. She then looked me straight in the eye and said “You don’t like porn, do you..” I was kind of taken aback. “Fuck” she said, “Fuck you” and stormed off.
She went into the producer’s office, slamming the door, and wouldn’t come out. She wouldn’t come out to shoot the BDSM scene while I was there. That was fine with me. She was right. But she wouldn’t play. So I offered to pay her 200 bucks to do the scene. I sent a message in that I wouldn’t be there while my cameraman shot the bdsm shoot. (I could say that because the cameraman was the estimable Johnny Westheuser, a brilliant shooter and a guy who had directed his own TV series called “Kink”. With Westheuser the best director is the one who gets out of his way.) She still wouldn’t come out. So I upped it to 300 bucks. I sent it in in an enveloped and a card I picked up at the nearest 7/11.
After a while she came out, all sunlight and roses, and swept by me towards the set. She gave full value, a lot of stuff we couldn’t use.
Later I found out she used to be a grifter.
I had been grifted by a pro. It was a thing of beauty. The problem with the scene in the end was that it was kinda crazy to show something as sicko as BDSM being so thoroughly enjoyed by such a beautiful woman, who apparently really dug it. But then in th end the scene delivers what Donald Brittian once told me was the secret to good documentary-making. “Surprise me. Surprise Me. Surprise me.” But he was pissed at the time.